The Zork Dork

        Obviously, I am a certified, bona fide, veritable and official card-carrying cork dork.  A wine geek.  Recently however, it occurred to me that yet another moniker might apply to my overly enthusiastic disposition toward the sauce…Zork Dork!  For those of you not familiar with the Zork, it is a new (and fairly sharp looking I might add)  plastic/rubber closure for wine bottles.  That’s not all it is though… oh no my friends, it’s so much more!  I’ve saved about 10 of these things and I use them all the time.  Months, even years after the wine it originally protected is long gone the little stopper is still a handy kitchen tool.  I use them for olive oil (the good kind) toss the plastic pour spout and it stays fresh twice as long.  Keep vodka or another liquor in the freezer?  Employ the Zork and your days of leakage or frozen screw caps are over.  Drink Moscato d’Asti? The little zork makes a great stopper to keep the bubbles fresh for a day or two.  I’ve even used one to re-cork champagne and it didn’t fly off.  However, as Zork now makes a champagne stopper I don’t recommend this practice, it happened to work is all I’m saying. 

         I know these days there is still a lot of controversy regarding screw caps and synthetic corks versus real cork.  The truth is it really doesn’t really matter.  Over 90% of the wine produced in the world is consumed (or meant to be consumed) within the first 2 years of release.  The type of  closure used for the wine doesn’t even factor in that situation except in a possibly adverse way.  When the cork is bad the wine is bad and you return it to me then I return it to the wholesaler. That little cork has just cost more than it’s weight and worth in time, effort and paperwork. 

        There is something eternally romantic about opening a bottle of wine with real cork with and a classic corkscrew, I will never advocate doing away with real cork, especially in the higher end wines.  Times have changed though, and the advent of alternative closures can be a good thing for many mainstream wines.  I’m not necessarily fond of synthetic corks, screw caps work great; but for overall performance and functionality, it’s gotta be the Zork.  Pick up a “zorked” bottle, hopefully you’ll enjoy the wine, then test out the Zork in your kitchen.  See what all uses you can find for it, I’m betting you too will be a fellow Zork dork in no time.

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